Thursday, September 27, 2012

Someday ( I Will Understand)

[Verse 1:]
Nothing seems to be the way
That it used to
Everything seems shallow
God gives me truth
In me
And tell me somebody is watching
Over me
And that is all I'm praying is that

Someday I will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he's done to me
Oh but maybe
Someday I will breathe
And I'll finally see
I'll see it all in my baby

[Verse 2:]
Don't you run too fast my dear
Why don't you stop?
Just stop and listen to your tears
They're all you've got
It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that

Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby

No moment
Will be more true
Than the moment
I look at you

It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that

Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby

Friday, June 1, 2012

Please stop breaking and entering whenever you feel like it

There’s this man
There’s this young man
There’s this fine young man
There’s this fine young man I thought I was over.
Last night when I accidentally met him again after 11 months, I realised I wasn’t.

It is you.

You were my first love, I think. Or the closest one I’ve ever come.
We completed each other and you made me so ecstatically happy and vice versa.
I know I did, from your smile down to your demands for cuddles and hugs in the mornings.
We didn’t last long. I obeyed your order. I finally got too close.
And in a blink of the eye, you just took off, taking my heart, my soul, my pride, my honor and my old self with you.

I spent 2 full years trying to defy your gravity. At first, falling for you felt like drowning. But in a very enjoyable way. The water was warm it almost felt luxurious, like moving through warm and sweet honey.  But then, you took of and it was like the water turned cold, my lungs started to jam up and I was suffocating, gasping for air. I was struggling, kicking, punching, but still failed to get to the top, because my heart felt dead. I had no clue on how to reach the surface.

But I finally did manage to.

The first breath was painful. So painful I prayed to God to put my life to an end. And so did the second and the third. Eventually, I could hold myself up but I was still shivering all over the place. I spent 2 full years trying desperately to pull myself up, I was frozen all over.

You made my heart frozen for 2 years. I was the coldest and the heartless witch you could ever encounter. So cold and heartless, some people actually begged me to kill them instead of doing the things I did to them back then.

But the funny thing is, I couldn’t be that cold witch whenever you were around. You see, you were the only person who could melt my cold heart. Your charming gaze, the touch of your lips, the gentleness of your caresses could really melt my heart, breaking the wall I so painstakingly tried to erect.

But now I realise I can’t keep doing this. It’s been too long.

Please listen closely to what I have to say B!.
You leave me alone now.
I have no energy left for having to sit and pick up the pieces anymore.

I’m getting older and much wiser.
This box I told you that you can open whenever you want is now permanently closed for you.

Please stop breaking and entering whenever you feel like it.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

A Guy What Takes His Time

(originally by Mae West)

Ooh, ooh, ooh

A guy what takes his time, I’ll go for any time
I’m a fast movin’ gal who likes them slow
Got no use for fancy driving, wanna to see a guy arriving in low
I’d be satisfied, electrified to know a guy what takes his time

A hurry-up affair, I always give the air
Wouldn’t give any rushing gent a smile
I would go for any single who would condescend to linger awhile
What a lullaby would be supplied to have a guy who takes his time, ooh

A guy what takes his time, I’d go for any time
A hasty job really spoils a master’s touch
I don’t like a big commotion, I’m a demon for slow motion or such
Why should I deny that I would die to know a guy who takes his time

There isn’t any fun in getting something done
If you’re rushed when you have to make the grade
I can spot an amateur, appreciate a connoisseur in trade
Who would qualify, no alibi, to be the guy who takes his time

Ooh, ooh…

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that i'm afraid to take off

And none of them is me

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,

But don't be fooled.. for God's sake don't be fooled

I give you the impression that I'm secure,

that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without

That confidence is my name and coolness is my game

That the water's calm and I'm in command

and that I need no one,

But don’t believe me..

My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,

ever-varying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.

Beneath lies me in confusion, and fear, and aloneness.

But I hide this.

I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,

and I know that is, if it's followed by acceptance, it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,

from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,

that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,will not be followed by love.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,

with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,

what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say,

but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.

I don't like playing superficial phony games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me

but you've got to help me.

With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,

how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator-- of the person that is me

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,

You alone can remove my mask,

You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison,

If you choose to.

Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.

It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man

often I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls

and in this lies my hope.

Please try to beat down those walls

with firm hands but with gentle hands

for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man, and every woman you meet

I am every man and every woman who wears a mask

Don’t be fooled by me, at least not by the face I wear

Charles C. Finn
September 1966

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Everything Happens For a Reason

I like to believe that everything happens for a reason.. No matter what happens to you, not only does something valuable and worthy come out of it but it's just what you need.

As crazy as it sounds, it is true.

We see it in little ways, like when our plans for a perfect get-away fall through, we'll soon find out that all the thing we need is at home anyway.

Isn't it funny how things happen to us that make no sense at the time and will eventually reveal their purpose in the end?

Sometimes a certain person comes into your life, you may never know who this person might be... but when you look at him straight in the eyes, you know that every moment you are with him, he will affect your life in some thorough way. At that very moment you knew right-away that he was meant to be there.. to serve some sort of purpose...

Everything does happen for a reason..

The people you meet on your way up or down affect your life.

If someone hurts you, betrays you in the most disrespectful manner you could never imagined, forgive them because they've taught you a lesson about trust and the importance of being extra cautious to whom you open your heart.

And if someone loves you, love them 1000% back not only because they love you and accept you at your best even at your worst... But also because they are teaching you the art, definition and meaning of love and how to open your heart and eyes to little things at the same time.

Jakarta, 7 Juli 2010, 01:12 by Anisa Lahay

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Everything I missed in my previous life seems to find its own way of coming back

Some ways are ludicrous, some are somewhat like a sweet karma, and some are too good to be true

Tuesday, May 25, 2010



Friday, May 21, 2010

Brian O'Conner
: This is where my jurisdiction ends.
Dominic Toretto
: And this is where mine begins.

Fast and Furious

Thursday, May 20, 2010

can we have another round?

you-made-me-ache, well done my son..
now can we please have another round?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Dear hypocrites

I shalt not speak on my behalf, for I have learned to be content in whatsoever state I am
The tongue, so unruly evil, can no man tame
But but by thy words thou shalt be justified
And by thy words thou shalt be condemned

To be ill spoken of
In whatever language
Without real evidence
To me, is no surprise

Wilt thou provoke me?
NO..thou wilt not

To take matter by heart of ill-speaking zealots is a waste of time and a downgrade for my caste

Thou shalt always, always think for yourselves

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Do not refuse to look into meaning

I am extraordinay if you'd ever get to know me..

Meanings are there for you to explore so you can comprehend
Don't leave it in ignorance,dear...

Who are you to judge all else when the casing is all you see?
What will happen to you when the lights are off and you could see nothing?
How will you react when you realised that the best casing you'd chosen is rough and damaged because it's been passed on to no fewer than 10 hands before?

How do you not see that a person or sound is more than their label?
You hate that which you do not understand when you refuse to look into meaning

What answers do you have? Do you have any answers?

I know where can an answer be found to this, only in heartbreak and disappointment
While I'll just have to endure another fight in frustration that's in store for me...

The depth of your emotions flowing shallow ..
In the shallow river in your mind...
But you still got a chance to dive deeper and find life's greatest beauty in the deepest depth of the deep blue sea...

Don't be shallow dear, you're worth more than that....

Friday, November 6, 2009

For the Greater Good

I walked steady in the street of unlimitation
where skills and potentions were my only energy to keep on walking on this street
every steps I made led me to the route of perfections I've been longing for so long

but then,
a blinding flash of light distracted me

It was You,
not the sun, not the lightning, not the flash
it was You,
You and only You

I stopped abruptly
I stopped chasing my dreams
I lost focus on what I've been dreaming for so long
I tripped and fell
The street of unlimitation kept on calling to remind me
"this is what you've always wanted Anisa!"

But I,
no longer want to step a foot on there

I ran to You
I tried to reach You, light
I tried to grab You
I tried to distract your attention just like what You did to me
But I don't think it did any good

I am tired, I need a break
I need to soothe my nerves

but not for long,
I need to get my focus back
but first, I got to decide,
what do I want? what do I need?
Which path would I pursue?

Deep down I know,
All I need is stabilty for my soul
where I could be the GREAT me in pursuing my dreams
and having someone to share tales about his own GREATness
so we could be the GREAT duo

for the Greater Good

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

In terms of whatever

If only I could do or say whatever and be whatever in whatever situations without having to deal with whatever consequences, I'd certainly be a whatever - Anisa Lahay

Friday, September 18, 2009

i'm falling another moment into your gravity

I left. I ran . I wandered . I flew
But in the end, something always brings me back to you

Denying. Retreating. Refusing. Letting go
But in the end, I got to let go my big ego

And now I'm
Remembering.Reliving. Recalling . Reminiscing
To push myself in doing the art of struggling

I'll do it
Freely. Happily. Cheerfully. Devotedly
Coz' I'm falling another moment into your gravity