December 14

12-14
to you maybe it's just a date
but to me, it's the date where God taught me the balance..

balance between loving and losing
between wanting and needing
between birth and death

on 12-14-1979
my grandfather died
on 12-14-1989
I was born into this world
on 12-14-2009
my grandmother died

was it just a coincidence?
or is it a lesson I must learn?

For I have always been the self-centered girl
where loving others is less
and loving me is more

Where my wants are the one must be fulfilled
and others are just dreamers

On my 20th birthday, God taught me a lesson
to differentiate my needs and wants
to stop pushing others to do exactly as I told
to stop wanting selfish things
because they do have their own wants and needs

My mother failed to be on the side of her father's deathbed on 1979
that is why, she wanted to accompany her mother when her soul left the world badly..

But because of me,
she failed again
she wasn't there
she haven't cry a single tears since then
she didn't even said accusing words to me

and what did I get? Vain and Regret

Thank You God, Lesson Learned !

turning 20

So here comes the time
When I have to cross over the bridge
From the childishness of teens into maturity of twenties

Tomorrow's the day
When I'll be celebrating the new era of my own self

So,
I am now a woman

A woman who stands tall
A woman who is destined for greatness
A woman who dreams bigger than life
A woman who dreams bigger than big
A woman who believes that if she can dream it, she can make it so
A woman who will never failed to live up her parents expectation

So hello sunshine world..
I am ready to take over you

For the Greater Good

I walked steady in the street of unlimitation
where skills and potentions were my only energy to keep on walking on this street
every steps I made led me to the route of perfections I've been longing for so long

but then,
a blinding flash of light distracted me

It was You,
not the sun, not the lightning, not the flash
it was You,
You and only You

I stopped abruptly
I stopped chasing my dreams
I lost focus on what I've been dreaming for so long
I tripped and fell
The street of unlimitation kept on calling to remind me
"this is what you've always wanted Anisa!"

But I,
no longer want to step a foot on there

I ran to You
I tried to reach You, light
I tried to grab You
I tried to distract your attention just like what You did to me
But I don't think it did any good

I am tired, I need a break
I need to soothe my nerves

but not for long,
I need to get my focus back
but first, I got to decide,
what do I want? what do I need?
Which path would I pursue?

Deep down I know,
All I need is stabilty for my soul
where I could be the GREAT me in pursuing my dreams
and having someone to share tales about his own GREATness
so we could be the GREAT duo

for the Greater Good

In terms of whatever

If only I could do or say whatever and be whatever in whatever situations without having to deal with whatever consequences, I'd certainly be a whatever - Anisa Lahay

what are you?

You are :

neither simple nor complicated
neither visible nor invisible
neither hot nor cold
neither humble nor arrogant
neither smart nor dumb
neither right nor wrong
neither indepent nor dependent
neither needed nor needy
neither wanting nor wanted
neither real nor unreal
neither walking nor floating
neither human nor angel

so tell me, What are You?

i'm falling another moment into your gravity

I left. I ran . I wandered . I flew
But in the end, something always brings me back to you

Denying. Retreating. Refusing. Letting go
But in the end, I got to let go my big ego

And now I'm
Remembering.Reliving. Recalling . Reminiscing
To push myself in doing the art of struggling

I'll do it
Freely. Happily. Cheerfully. Devotedly
Coz' I'm falling another moment into your gravity

tick tock tick tock

sitting with my laptop on
times keep ticking
tick tock tick tock tick tock

it's time to take a break for a while
i'm tired of running
keep on watching my clock
tick tock tick tock tick tock

did i dance too fast
did my dancing dies before the music stop
is this the reason why exhaustion keeps on fluttering around me?
will time wait for me ?
tick tock tick tock tick tock

I ran miles and miles in these shoes
run! anisa run! my mind keeps saying
but why do i keep on running
to reach the goals or to keep on running from time?
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock

I'm tired
I'm taking a break
Sitting with my laptop on
Enjoying the cool of my cigar with a cup of milk tea
while letting time running past me this time
only this time
tick tock tick tock tick tock

It'll only be for this time, time...
Once my energy refilled.
I'll run again
running against time
running against you
tick tock tick tock tick tock

Hello drama, what's next? The Life and Lies of Anisa Lahay?

Hello drama, welcome back oh dear old friend...
why so soon? been missing me eh?
had you not find someone else with bigger heart to mess with?

Good thing you came back... I miss being in the spotlight..
You ready with another emotional play?
so..tell me what's in store for me? what do you want me to do?
Play a role as the girl I loathed so much?
Lying in everybody's face once more?

The Life and Lies of Anisa Lahay would be a good title for our play..
just a thought...just a thought..merely a suggestion...

but this time, can I be the one writting the script?
I promise there'll be lots of emotional ups and downs
In our play, I'll be struggling through tons of tiring battlefield but in the end I won the game
because of one thing people never care to understand : LOVE and AMBITION

Then everything return to its normal state..
no harm done,many gain,lessons learned then you'll go far far away from my life and never come back!

And when the curtains close,audience aplaud they'll be saying
"what a great play...what is it again? oh yeah...The Life and Lies of Anisa Lahay"

So, drama??? what do you think?